Naptime

Sleeping is the most attractive thing these days -- aside from food. I awakened at 4:30 this morning because my stomach was growling and wouldn't be ignored. After a cup of yogurt, I got a few more hours sleep. Later this afternoon, I had a double helping of nap.

So much slumber is not good for accomplishing tasks. As the six-month mark approaches, I feel the need to check items off of the to-do list more quickly. (The list continues to grow as well.) Some home redecorating is scheduled for completion in late November, and the next item is the nursery. Baby might not have a freshly painted room. I may just settle for moving the desks and computer out of the room. (See sleeping above.) The painting could come later.

As for now, I think it is high time I went back to bed.

Mental Health

Last week I got quite concerned about the emotional ups and downs I'm experiencing. People at work are irritating me, and that was unusual. I like my job and I'm count myself luck to be employed. Fortunately good manners covers most things. I didn't even have unexpected tears.

My wonderful therapist, the one who coached me back to life after a divorce, managed to work me in for an appointment. We talked, and I told her I didn't quite know what was wrong. I just felt like a teenager with wild emotions and the idea that other people just don't get it.

She laughed and made her diagnosis: "You're pregnant." She also said I was welcome to come back for therapy if I needed help handling the ups and downs. Somehow, hearing that I wasn't crazy makes it much easier.

On the Work Front

Things at work are roller coaster on the way up. The coworker who makes me feel uncomfortable has moved away from my area. Not sitting next to him is going to be such a huge improvement. It was just awkward and painful with him moping.

Another coworker wants to do something special for me. She wants to get some other people involved in it too. I'm tickled at how much people want to spoil this baby, and I'm delighted to let them.

Even with all of this support, I'm still feeling dissatisfied. This was my dream job, and I loved it for years. Now it really isn't a dream job, and the thrill is long gone. While other people would be preparing nurseries and nesting, I'm getting my interest inventories together and polishing my resume. If I still feel this way after I've been back from maternity leave for a few month, I'll be ready to move onto something else. I keep hoping that it is just hormones or just anxiety about the baby. I'm afraid that it really is about the work.

Wondering, Dreaming

The days feel autumnal. The sky took on the rich blue hue and the sun is yellower. It gets dark earlier, and I've had to dig out my sweater. The garden chores to get the garden ready for winter are beginning, and I really enjoy it.

I'm wondering what it will be like at this time next year. The baby will be seven months old. Will I have to sneak outside? Will the little one want to help? I feel as if I'm leaving all of this behind, and I don't have any regrets. In my experience, people who don't have any fears about the unknown are completely ignorant. I hope my education will be kind.

New Pants

New pants with a special elastic panel in the front are being shipped to my house at this very minute. It's getting chillier outside, and my waistband is getting tighter and tighter. At the beginning I thought I might avoid those silly looking pregnancy pants, but right now, I'm giddy about getting them.

The pregnancy bra arrived earlier and life is infinitely more comfortable. This has also put an end to trying to discretely rearrange my boobs and put them back into a bra from which they've escaped. I'm hopeful that the pants will reduce the high risk enterprise of not having my pants fastened and covering them with a long shirt.

Tis the sneason

I love that my employer offers a flu shot at work. All that is required is showing up. I also have a history of getting sick right around that time. Just as the scheduled flu shot approached, my throat felt sore, a river of snot poured from my nose, and the coughing and hacking began. People have asked whether it was H1N1. Honestly, I don't know. I called my doctor's office. The nurse said to treat it with comfort measures. That meant Benedryl, Chloraseptic spray, and Tylenol. Three days later, I felt pretty good and got a flu shot.

One of the things that surprised me was what a difference the Tylenol made. I felt better soon after taking it, and I could tell when it was wearing off. I guess that those small, lingering pains really added up. It even makes me question whether I'll treat a cold differently when I'm not pregnant. I hope the H1N1 shot will be available at work, and I'm taking extra care to eat well, exercise and take my vitamins. Maybe I'll miss out on the pre-requisite illness with this shot.

One benefit of being sick was the opportunity to read Anna Quindlen's book Rise and Shine. Quindlen certainly knows how to tell a story, and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Growing conditions

I'm expanding these days. Last night it became apparent that I need a new, larger bra. I've managed to ignore it this far, but the crowded conditions simply lead to too much grumpiness.

Adding to my misery, I ordered the largest size bra I can find. I'm terrified that the girls will continue to expand. What does one do when there are no more bras? I like to maintain some sense of control.

Thankfully, the maternity pants can wait a little longer and they come several sizes larger than I do. Whew!