With all of the recession news, I fret about being a single parent. On the other hand, I'm in the middle of my career and make enough money to support myself and a child. I'm salting away as much savings as possible and hoping for job security. Time seems like a bigger luxury than money.
I think about making baby clothes and painting a nursery. I imagine which children's books we will read together. I contemplate whether the child will have any resemblance to my family or if we will just wonder. These are happy dreams. They're still very fragile, but they are happy dreams.
Reality seeps in through more than just the recession. A dear friend would very much like to be my labor coach. She's hinted and a mutual friend has mentioned it as well. Having so much love and support from my friends and sister make this far less scary. It lets me dream a little. If my mother is amenable to being a labor coach, she's the person I'd really like to have with me. I've also read that doulas are wonderful. They have experience and they focus on the patient's needs. I like the idea of having a person like that to assist. Some might mention including all important people, but I'm not wild about having a crowd at delivery.
In the meantime, the weather is unseasonably warm and sunny. I go for walks in the evening and plan a garden for this summer.
