tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29297733986581906772011-11-27T16:49:52.651-08:00Single motherhood after artificial insemination. It's fun, hardwork, and absolutely worth it.Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.comBlogger381100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-51052729327720322462010-11-09T06:42:00.000-08:002010-11-09T06:42:00.167-08:00

Do mommy bloggers have a right to share their children's stories? MSNBC ran an article. I identified with that. While my little dumpling has her fair share of adventures, I don't want her to be embarrassed by what gets posted on internet.  However, that won't stop me from dishing about our latest breastfeeding incident. Usually, nursing is a very pleasant and snugly experience. Imagine my horror

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-21402378085071904582010-09-08T18:06:00.000-07:002010-09-08T18:06:07.899-07:00

The baby-lead weaning looked so promising, but Squeak (as I've started to call the baby) had other plans. Even at six-months, grasping the food and moving it to her mouth was a big challenge. She did want to eat though. Red foods are especially interesting, and she's attempted to sneak strawberries from plates that were too close. I was sad to learn that strawberries aren't good baby food. When

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-12091779303779786622010-08-31T16:13:00.000-07:002010-08-31T16:13:36.623-07:00

Having a baby is one of the best things I've done. It is a true joy. Maybe the sacrifices haven't seemed like sacrifices because I was ready to make them. Staying home most evenings to play with the kidlet is a delight. For those who wonder if she's asking about her father yet, she has started to chant "da-da-da-da". Mothers whose babies said Dada first are now vindicated.

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-18900798704871896442010-07-22T10:36:00.000-07:002011-01-12T06:10:00.099-08:00

Everyone says you cannot overestimate the sticker shock of a baby. I believed them, but I didn't fully understand what they meant. Going to the store for diaper supplies and coming out $80 lighter was a real wake-up call. Combined with the cats' kitty litter and my toilet paper, we hit nearly $100 a month on just poop. It's enough to stimulate your bowels -- in a bad way. Coupons are now my

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-54142233067304445052010-07-19T10:03:00.000-07:002010-07-19T10:22:07.774-07:00

Being an avid reader myself, I hope to share this interest with my daughter. We read Goodnight Moon or The Runaway Bunny. She bats at the pages or snuggles with me. Frankly, she's less than attentive. I've started sneaking in a few pages of Leaves of Grass when I've read her a book or two. She doesn't seem to know the difference yet, which is good because Uncle Walt is racier than I remembered.

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-24867755338663373422010-02-24T17:46:00.000-08:002010-02-24T17:53:40.364-08:00

Being put down is not an option for the baby. She cries and fusses. She seems to know when she isn't next to a person and instantly protests. My mother has been visiting daily to help with housework and hold the baby. I would have consulted Mom about getting pregnant if I'd known it was going to be that much work for her. She said she was glad I didn't ask because she would have told me not to do

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-60335647154719171982010-02-12T17:47:00.000-08:002010-02-12T17:58:56.831-08:00

The baby arrived in the middle of a snowstorm. Schools were closed and events were cancelled. I wouldn't have known. My mother and I had spent the last two nights in the hospital while tests were being run for pre-eclampsia. The diagnosis was that it was a mild case.By that time, I felt awful. My ankles, knees, and wrists were so swollen I could hardly move them. The doctor came to discuss

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-16414620466713291002010-01-13T19:58:00.000-08:002010-01-13T20:08:57.199-08:00

Over Christmas my family and coworkers got a nasty intestinal bug. I was pretty smug about it. My reasoning: How would I know if I had it because I'm pregnant and I toss my cookies all the time? Not one person was amused.Fate is quite tickled. I have the bug now. It feels very different from being pregnant. I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, but if I have food or water it leaves. . . so maybe life will be

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-18792758237395500362010-01-11T17:49:00.000-08:002010-01-11T17:57:21.393-08:00

The theme of this pregnancy has been the unexpected. Somethings that are surprising me lately include: 1) My coworkers are very supportive. They are really there for me.2) People keep giving me diapers. I'd just gotten four bundles of size ones when a friend offered a few packages of size twos. 3) A friend I thought had ditched me anonymously gave a very generous gift.4) There is a car seat and a

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-73210615992653152202010-01-09T19:48:00.001-08:002010-01-09T20:14:26.730-08:00

This week, a discussion with the daycare provider surprised me. She's calm, organized, and flexible -- all good things for children. She's willing to use breast milk. She's willing to use cloth diapers. I couldn't imagine that a person with small children everywhere would be willing to use anything besides disposables.Even though it means lots of time with the washing machine, cloth diapers are

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-29509185064603116882010-01-07T18:51:00.001-08:002010-01-07T19:02:18.895-08:00

Waiting is more exhausting than I imagined. I'm getting uncomfortable with the weight of the baby again and I can't sleep for very long stretches of time because I get uncomfortable. I spend my lunch hour trying to catch a nap, and then I go to bed early when I get home. I'm just out of patience and out of energy. It's a matter of weeks until this baby is full-term. I keep telling myself that

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-10097865126181601942010-01-04T19:27:00.000-08:002010-01-04T19:36:34.860-08:00

Today, I finished the birth plan. The computer-generated plans on the internet are very helpful because they break down the major categories and touch on the bigger subjects.Eating during labor? Yes, please!Baby in room? Of course!Episiotomy? Ow! Better be a really good reason.Next came the endless tweaking of language. The doula wants me to be more "assertive" although her brand of assertive

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-83960812634475333992010-01-02T16:02:00.000-08:002010-01-02T16:19:02.586-08:00

The official due date is next month. I'm anxious to meet the baby, and at the same time, I'm ready for her to arrive yet. It's week 34, so if she can wait at least three more weeks, it would be good. Also the hormones remain at high levels. I find myself getting misty-eyed over how generous others are. Arrangements at home coming together. I've delved into the closet in the baby's room. It is

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-70477131429273941862009-12-22T18:29:00.001-08:002009-12-22T18:37:03.228-08:00

This holiday season is different than usual. For the first time in years, I feel like decorating, listening to Christmas carols, and celebrating. Maybe it is the baby?At the same time, an old friend came to visit from out of town and wanted to visit to "touch my belly." I wanted to scream and run away. Belly touching has been on a case-by-case basis. If I get a good vibe, it is okay. This is the

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-83781958462379450682009-11-14T06:36:00.000-08:002009-11-14T06:50:23.682-08:00

With the third trimester rapidly approaching, my fears that there will be no baby have evaporated. They are being replaced with the sense that I've just wasted seven months of preparation time. Even the animals at my house seem to know something is arriving. They jockey for a position on my lap that allows them to put their front paws around my belly and rest their chins on the big lump. Staying

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-18468655892452894222009-10-17T20:36:00.000-07:002009-10-17T20:45:43.410-07:00

Sleeping is the most attractive thing these days -- aside from food. I awakened at 4:30 this morning because my stomach was growling and wouldn't be ignored. After a cup of yogurt, I got a few more hours sleep. Later this afternoon, I had a double helping of nap. So much slumber is not good for accomplishing tasks. As the six-month mark approaches, I feel the need to check items off of the to-do

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-85814885927192635302009-10-06T17:53:00.000-07:002009-10-06T17:58:31.836-07:00

Last week I got quite concerned about the emotional ups and downs I'm experiencing. People at work are irritating me, and that was unusual. I like my job and I'm count myself luck to be employed. Fortunately good manners covers most things. I didn't even have unexpected tears. My wonderful therapist, the one who coached me back to life after a divorce, managed to work me in for an appointment. We

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-23185315382786688872009-09-30T19:24:00.000-07:002009-09-30T19:34:00.752-07:00

Things at work are roller coaster on the way up. The coworker who makes me feel uncomfortable has moved away from my area. Not sitting next to him is going to be such a huge improvement. It was just awkward and painful with him moping. Another coworker wants to do something special for me. She wants to get some other people involved in it too. I'm tickled at how much people want to spoil this

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-78576930042906193692009-09-29T16:17:00.001-07:002009-09-29T17:10:50.349-07:00

The days feel autumnal. The sky took on the rich blue hue and the sun is yellower. It gets dark earlier, and I've had to dig out my sweater. The garden chores to get the garden ready for winter are beginning, and I really enjoy it.I'm wondering what it will be like at this time next year. The baby will be seven months old. Will I have to sneak outside? Will the little one want to help? I feel as

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-83868265665788382222009-09-28T17:46:00.000-07:002009-09-28T17:50:52.564-07:00

New pants with a special elastic panel in the front are being shipped to my house at this very minute. It's getting chillier outside, and my waistband is getting tighter and tighter. At the beginning I thought I might avoid those silly looking pregnancy pants, but right now, I'm giddy about getting them. The pregnancy bra arrived earlier and life is infinitely more comfortable. This has also put

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-49505256092954792362009-09-27T18:32:00.000-07:002009-09-27T18:43:17.565-07:00

I love that my employer offers a flu shot at work. All that is required is showing up. I also have a history of getting sick right around that time. Just as the scheduled flu shot approached, my throat felt sore, a river of snot poured from my nose, and the coughing and hacking began. People have asked whether it was H1N1. Honestly, I don't know. I called my doctor's office. The nurse said to

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-33815791659696434232009-09-13T18:41:00.000-07:002009-09-13T18:45:57.298-07:00

I'm expanding these days. Last night it became apparent that I need a new, larger bra. I've managed to ignore it this far, but the crowded conditions simply lead to too much grumpiness. Adding to my misery, I ordered the largest size bra I can find. I'm terrified that the girls will continue to expand. What does one do when there are no more bras? I like to maintain some sense of control.

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-39653698777607227782009-09-10T18:59:00.000-07:002009-09-10T19:09:27.446-07:00

I suspect the hormones have a part in this and so does excitement. I am feeling quite emotional. For the sake of coworkers and friends, keeping it under wraps is important. I'm not prone to tears of joy and actually thought they were a myth. Here are the things that have made me cry tears of joy this week:* My father offered to paint interior rooms for me and tried to sell me on what a wonderful

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-51188428516233557572009-09-08T18:22:00.000-07:002009-09-08T18:29:13.644-07:00

Last night it rained and thundered starting at 2 am and didn't stop until early afternoon. A thunderstorm is a lovely thing. It is exciting and dramatic. However, my dog seems to believe his life is in jeopardy when he sees the first flicker of lightening or hears a rumble of thunder. Some people have suggested locking him out of the bedroom, crating him or sending him outside. When he's super

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-10981987382015791742009-09-07T07:15:00.001-07:002009-09-07T08:40:45.646-07:00

The nesting phase has clearly kicked into gear. This weekend, I've cleaned out two closets. That might not sound like much, but I've been able to ignore sorting through those closets for years. It's like emotional time travel. Oh the pictures:Picture of me with my mom, sisters, and grandma when everyone lived in the same state and everyone was up to hiking around and taking adventurous day trips.

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-89745188535698301802009-08-27T16:26:00.001-07:002009-08-27T16:31:54.022-07:00

The news is getting out. Most people are simply delighted to know that there is baby in the future and they haven't gotten overly concerned with provenance.Grandma didn't say congratulations, but she did say, "That's an unusual way to get a baby." In Grandma terms, it means it is going to be okay. She's just needs to wrap her mind around it. What a relief that she is not going to lecture about

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-78329808362145870362009-08-16T18:03:00.000-07:002009-08-16T18:08:04.588-07:00

This week is the official beginning of the second trimester. I've told my coworkers and my friends over the last two weeks. My parents knew about 8 weeks in. Holding out until the 20th week seems to silly now. Everyone is supportive and happy. It is a good feeling. Grandma doesn't know yet, but Mom has volunteered to tell her. Grandma's 94 and has been open to new ideas until the last five years

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-55672666788310820312009-05-23T06:18:00.001-07:002009-05-23T06:28:42.916-07:00

I'm getting accustomed to waiting and waiting each month for a test or two at a lab. Man or no man, the tests are showing fertility issues. I wasn't ovulating and, although my blood sugar levels make people envious, a blood-glucose test showed insulin resistance. I feel grateful to know now. I can take some steps to deal with it, and perhaps it will never become diabetes. The doctor has never

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-15007502922565135292009-03-04T18:16:00.000-08:002009-03-04T18:35:22.935-08:00

By now my secret plans are not top-secret. Who knows? Several friends, my sister, and, oh yeah, the Internet. And the insemination hasn't even occurred. If my ovulation is similar to last month, I'll have my date with the turkey baster in a few days. I don't like to think about otherwise.With all of the recession news, I fret about being a single parent. On the other hand, I'm in the middle of my

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-73323623395110724042009-02-25T17:40:00.000-08:002009-02-25T17:49:10.608-08:00

This is a time of waiting. I'm getting accustomed to waiting. Back in the fall, when I first decided to do this, I thought, "Okay! Let's get the turkey baster out get inseminated." That was before I learned about doctors, waiting lists, requirements and tests. Oh my. The tests. But turkey baster day is arriving soon. Possibly even this month. Last month I didn't ovulate until very late in the

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-57109266199968314002009-02-11T16:39:00.000-08:002009-02-11T16:50:51.676-08:00

A friend warned me not to let the fertility specialists get under my skin. She said, "They're a little distant and impersonal." I should have written it down and kept it with me. Today was one of the days I spent on the phone with a nurse for the specialist. They wanted to remind me to get an HSG and to get my progesterone test. They also wanted me to get my infectious disease blood work (which

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-69204904465931378402009-02-09T16:02:00.000-08:002009-02-09T16:20:10.740-08:00

One of the donors stood out from the others. Aside from being healthy, having a good family medical history and sharing my blood type, he's a got math skills. My math skills are functional: the checkbook balances and simple interest is not insurmountable. Mathematical brilliance is another subject entirely. It would be a good balance to my language skills. The description was of a kind, reserved,

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-13676412864055272992009-02-03T15:24:00.000-08:002009-02-03T15:30:58.069-08:00

It feels like some progress is being made. After waiting for an appointment and waiting for the next cycle, tests are being done. The blood draws aren't too bad. The HSG was supposed to be a "go to work" afterwards test. It hurt. I hurt. I spent the day curled up in bed feeling like a wuss. One of my friends who is normally has beautiful manners and wouldn't dream of hurting another person's

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-7398766596261041902009-01-25T16:55:00.000-08:002009-01-25T18:11:13.907-08:00

I once saw a card at a baby shower that said, "Congratulations! (And thanks for not telling us you were trying.)" Some people just don't want to know the details. They still love you, but they don't want to know. I've been thinking about this with my parents. In someways they would love to be included. Choosing a donor with my mother could be fun. She really enjoys the details and nuances. I, on

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-46339002512067552552009-01-19T08:42:00.000-08:002009-01-19T09:07:03.795-08:00

On Thursday morning, I set out driving across miles and miles of grasslands. It was bitterly cold, snowing, and the sky was gray. Not too much snow fell, but the wind blew it in swirls across the road. I didn't see any accidents but the radio kept talking about accidents to avoid. I was tense and wondering how my appointment would be, and then after the first hundred miles, the sun broke through

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-10111623131718799922009-01-11T09:38:00.000-08:002009-01-11T09:56:07.338-08:00

I'm trying not to hope too much and to pay attention to each step along the way instead of thinking about the outcome. Obviously, a happy, healthy baby is the desired result, but that would be too much hoping. I'm not decorating a nursery or telling lots of family and friends. The next step is vacation from work next week and a drive to the fertility clinic.I expect my family and friends to be

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-37820123509798220072009-01-04T09:19:00.000-08:002009-01-04T09:21:17.063-08:00

I live in a mid-western town where the metro-area is just shy of half a million people. That’s big enough to foster business, diversity, and education. We’ve got an art district and independent business districts. The larger culture has a strong conservative flavor, and I’m sheltering myself from that as long as possible. I have only spoken to a few supportive friends about my plans, and I didn’t

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2929773398658190677.post-73128809852267707352009-01-02T16:37:00.000-08:002009-01-02T16:58:36.001-08:00

Having a child on my own wasn't the way I planned to do things. A child should have a father and mother, I thought. Because. Because that's the way it is. Because that is the way it should be. Life has a way of colliding with my assumptions and beliefs and turning them on their ears. I learn this again and again with increasing humility. Each time it is new and each time I have the same niggling

Unconventional Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08059355911092406700noreply@blogger.com1